Fears are Friends

Greetings,

How's your holiday going? So far I've seen, all the school's students already finished their holiday since  july beginning, and now university students are also going to start their new semester!

I'm also going to start my new semester soon which is on September 6th. But I must go back to China on this August 24th :( I still have 2 weeks of holiday to enjoy with.

One of my holiday activity is doing a part time job as teacher assistant. Well, even tho I worked with my mom but still I really glad to have that experience. I'm teaching at my beloved former school, Santa Laurensia on the primary school. Here's a preview of my former primary school:

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Enough with my school intro, here goes the point. I have one student, who's always crying at school, begging her teacher to send her home, and asking everyone how to get to her mother. At first, I thought "Ah, maybe it's the first day school panic" but week by week I saw her still crying at school. Once, she cried by herself in front of me and yelled "I want my mommy" so I asked her why does she always cry at school. She said "I don't like here, school is scary I just want to go home or at least call my mom now" Then I know the main problem : FEAR

Everyone has fears. Children, teenagers, adults, and elders. Fears are part of our life that we have to deal with. God gave us life with its own goods and bads. As an ordinary person, I also face fears all the time. Remembering my childhood, I remember that I wasn't the bravest kid at all, not even close to brave. I'm a scaredy cat. One of my biggest fear that time was to meet other people. I tend to hide behing my parents back whenever I saw people. I could get cry easily when another people except my family touched me. So, I was labeled like that. 

As I grew into teenagers, I thought I could change that easy, but I was wrong. Fears come and go. Since I was labeled as a "shy scaredy cat", I gradually really attach to that label. I was so shy that time. I remember how hard could I start a conversation with other people, I was scared to do something different and speak my mind. The worst of that, there was one time I was afraid to look myself in the mirror :) But people, GOD IS GREAT. He knew what I've been through and one day I felt that he said, "Laura, it's time for a new life". But it's not as easy as it said. I once felt that everything is unfair and keep striking on me. I was weak and didn't have a clue why a scaredy cat like me faced this kind of problems. Fortunately, that didn't last long, I realized that every obstacles I've been through made me stronger, made me realize that I have a hero inside me that will protect me from fears (inspired by Mariah Carey-Hero).

Step by step, I began to feel that the burden I carried all along back then, wasn't so heavy right now. As a result, I really got a new life. I became a different type of person from who I was. No, It's not the "who I'm not" type. I began to show other people a different side of me which had exist from long time a go but never had a chance to show up. And then I finished my senior high school, and when I started college I also had this biggest fear of seeing a new world. But thanks to God, family, and friends I could overcome that. It wasn't easy, but it worth to struggle.

So right now, if you people known me personally, you should've known how I change from "old me" into "new me". I could say that I'm a damn hyper, shameless but a bit sensitive person. I wasn't say that I become the bravest girl with no fears. I still in the process to become a better person, but at least now I know fear is not to be feared but is to be friended. Fear is not the only thing that dominate our live. We still have courage, faith, loyalty, happiness that shine inside ourselves.

Sorry for the long annoying post, but yeah I never thought I will look back and talk about how "funny" I was back then, stuck in my little grey world never realize that the other color tries to get me :) Back to the student I told at the beginning. I believe her fear is only the beginning of her struggling. I'm sure that day by day she will overcome her fears and one day will look back and think "how could I be silly like that". For other people who still face their fears, remember fears are friends that make us stronger and become a great person. Don't hate 'em, understand 'em.

From,

A girl who once being called as "scaredy cat"

*excuse my bad grammar or uncommunicative style of writing, I just wrote everything based on my thoughts